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A BookLikes community page for Quirk Books, an independent book publisher based in Philadelphia. We publish 25 strikingly unconventional books every year. Learn more at QuirkBooks.com.

A Playlist for Jane Austen's Heroines

 

Jane Austen in one of literature's most enduring and beloved authors. But what sort of music would go into making the perfect modern playlist for this literary A-lister? You’d need songs that explore class and social behaviors, courtship rituals, and the complicated corners of the female heart. Clever songs that reflect the author’s witty banter, ones with passionate cores for the emotional turmoil her heroines endure. Considering all the balls that are attended in the books, some catchy beats wouldn’t hurt either. And of course the songs would have to be female-powered.

 

Here's our suggested Jane Austen playlist: 

 

 

“Money Changes Everything” – Cyndi Lauper 
Whether it’s Persuasion’s Anne Elliott breaking up with Wentworth because his station in life was too low or the Dashwood sisters of Sense and Sensibility nervously living on a “barely-respectable” income, it’s only a matter of time before the topic of money is raised in the pages of an Austen novel. And it tends to be sooner than later. Which isn’t to say her heroines are shallow, because they do choose mates based on love, but let’s just say they value financial stability as well. Which makes this Cyndi Lauper song a perfect way to kick things off.

 

 

“No Cheap Thrill” - Suzanne Vega
Speaking of emotional and financial stakes…Vega’s songs about relationships abound in wit and sensitivity, so she’s a no-brainer for this list. While “No Cheap Thrill” likens love to poker, the game serves as a metaphor for what we risk when giving our hearts to others: 

 

“I’ll see you, I’ll call you, I’ll raise you
But it’s no cheap thrill
It’ll cost you, cost you, cost you
Anything you have to pay.”

 

 

“Dancing on My Own” – Robyn
From Pride and Prejudice to Mansfield Park, no better setting allows for social tensions to unfold like the ball. Where there’s a ball, there’s usually drama accompanying the dancing, and hurt feelings that must be masked amidst the party atmosphere. This is where you’d hear Robyn’s song of keeping her head high and her feet moving despite her broken heart. 

 

 

“Rumour Has It” – Adele
If there’s one thing Austen’s characters love to do, it’s gossip. From lies to betrayals to which couple ran off in the night to get married, the whispers abound. Adele could just as easily be referencing the Regency period when she sings, 

 

“People say crazy things,
Just ‘cause I said it,
it don’t mean that I meant it.” 

 

 

“Single” – Everything But The Girl
The chorus of this song asks, “Do you like being single?” Pose this question to the female characters of a certain author and they’re sure to answer with a resounding, “No!” Enough said.

 

 

“The Mating Game” – Bitter:Sweet
This trip-hop duo’s flirty number is a perfect anthem to the merry-go-round of romantic pairings that occur in the pages of Austen’s books:

 

“Step right up you’re the next contestant 
In this sweet charade
Take a number,
wait while I twist your fate.”
 

 

 

“Caught a Like Sneeze” – Tori Amos
Lurking in the pages of Austen’s books are scoundrels, whether serial heartbreaker Henry Crawford of Mansfield Park or the duplicitous Willoughby of Sense and Sensibility. Luckily they are usually sussed out before irreparable damage is done to the heroine. Which is pretty much the theme of this Tori song. 

 

 

“I Won’t Kneel” – Groove Armada
The lyrics speak of being a victim of one’s pride and seeking forgiveness, but without losing sacrificing one’s integrity. That’s something ladies like Elizabeth Bennet and Emma Woodhouse can surely relate to:

 

“I came for miles on a broken wheel
I came to see whether love can heal
But I won’t kneel, no I won’t kneel”
These gals may be humbled,
but their backbones always remain intact.

 

 

“Bachelorette” – Bjork
The sweeping orchestral drama of the music, with percussion reminiscent of a heartbeat, creates a soundscape perfect for the uncertainty that accompanies falling in and out of love. Bjork’s voice is equal parts passion and vulnerability when she sings lines like, “Love is a two way dream.”

 

 

“I Am In Love With You” – Imogen Heap
Don’t let the title of this one fool you. What begins as a song about being smitten takes a dark turn. “Split second and it’s all in smoke,” sings Heap, concluding with a final refrain that claims, “I’m not in love with you.” A perfect accompaniment to the emotional swings the ladies of Austen’s novels endure as they fall in and out of love.

 

 

“The Human Game” – Lisa Gerrard
Through social and financial obstacles, misunderstandings and obfuscations of the heart, Austen’s heroines earn their happy endings. Therefore, it’s only appropriate that this playlist end on a poetic, romantic note. This song by the angel-voiced Gerrard carries through the love-conquers-all theme when she sings,

 

“All of our love rises above
The human game.”

 

What other songs do you think should be added the soundtrack of Jane Austen’s books? Share your picks in the comments, or tweet us @Quirkbooks!

And below for handy listening, is a Spotify playlist for all the songs featured in this post: 

Camp Plot-A-Wanna: Grab a Map, Read the Schedule, and Meet your Bunk Buddies



CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA is a weekly 8-part series where Quirk Books staffers reimagine famous authors as pre-teens, stuck together at summer camp. Check out the brochure here. It is also an entirely fictional place. Please don't have your parents drop you off at our offices with sleeping bags.

 

Daily Schedule

 

7:00 a.m. The Awakening
Rise and shine, campers! We don't care how late you stayed up scribbling out a draft of your next masterpiece, counselors are ready to pry your pens from your hands, wipe the drool from your chins, and GET YOU MOVING!

 

8 a.m. Breakfast of Champions
Goodbye Blue Monday! Chomp like a champion on some noveltastic nosh: Clockwork Orange juice, Bread and Jam (for Frances), and cereal-ized fiction.

 

9 a.m. Rabbit Run
Up and at 'em! A refreshing sprint around the grounds leaves the campers breathless and full of midcentury malaise.

 

10 a.m. Finnegan’s Wakeboarding
Riverrun past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay! Campers can hop on their wakeboards and hold on tight for an exciting hour of watersports on the Stream of Consciousness.

 

12 p.m. Naked Lunch
Featuring delicious specialties by Chef Burroughs. (Note: Campers must be clothed at lunch.)

 

1 p.m. The Call of the Wild
From nature walks to spelunking, nothing's more inspirational for our campers than the great outdoors. 

 

3 p.m. Fight Club
The first rule about Plot-A-Wanna Fight Club is...aw, forget it, just tell everyone, because this club is a HIT! Light roughhousing and horseplay; no hair-pulling permitted.

 

4 p.m. The Lottery
A fun way for us to assign camper responsibilities. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe—writers who live at Camp Plot-a-Wanna shouldn't throw stones!

 

6 p.m. A Moveable Feast
Campers enjoy a picnic dinner on the Plot-A-Wanna grounds. (Campers of legal drinking age may enjoy our special "Papa Hemingway" cocktail: whiskey and whiskey alone!)

 

7 p.m. Bonfire of the Vanities
With plenty of Camp Songs of the Vanities, S'mores of the Vanities, and Scary Stories of the Vanities to go 'round! (White suit optional.)

 

9 p.m. The Remains of the Day
Gather around the campfire to share favorite memories and missed opportunities. Extra points to campers who can correctly explain the meaning of dignity.  

 

10 p.m. The Big Sleep
Nighty-night, sleep tight, don't let the plot bunnies bite! 

 

 

 

Cabin Assignments

 

ATTENTION CAMPERS: Cabin Assignments have been posted on the main bulletin board. Please report to your cabin immediately following the Pencil-Sharpening Pancake Breakfast. Note this is not the same as the Pencil-Shaving Picnic Lunch which will be held later in the week. All Cabin Assignments are final, there will be no editing or revising of the cabin assignments. 

 

PENCILPOINT CABIN:
V. Woolf
C., E., & A. Bronte
A. Rand

 
FEATHERQUILL CABIN:
A. Christie
G. Stein
J. Austen
M. Shelly
B. Potter 

 

UNDERWOOD CABIN:
G. Chaucer
T. Geisel  Dr. Seuss
J.R.R. Tolkien
H.P. Lovecraft
L. Carroll

 

BALLPOINT CABIN:
L. F. Baum
J. Vern
R. Dahl
R. Bradbury

 

 

Happy Fourth of July, Quirk Nation! 

 

For more Quirk books reimagined as the Star Spangled Banner, click here.

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/happy-july-4th-quirk-books

WELCOME TO CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA!

Greetings from CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA! From our leaves of grass to our softball field of dreams, we provide the ultimate camping experience for the literately oriented. We know that the writing life is a sedentary, solitary, sickly experience, which is why our counselors and staff are trained to gently acquaint our campers with unfamiliar concepts like fresh air, sunlight, weenie roasts, and trees. At CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA, you’ll enjoy the wind in the willows, everyone eats shoots and leaves, and it’s always okay to kill a mockingbird.
 

Facilities

CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA includes all the amenities that a vacationing writer could want. Take a walk in the woods, where the hours will feel like one hundred years of sollutude. Escape from the sound and the fury as you contemplate the sheltering sky while consulting a cloud atlas. When the bell tolls for lunch, enjoy a moveable feast of fried green tomatoes, madeleines, big fish, and perhaps a taste of blackberries or a clockwork orange (note: oranges are not the only fruit). End the day sitting around a pale fire, trying to understand why twilight is so popular (note: the sun also rises).

 

 

Special Activities:

  • Horseback Writing
  • Arts and Crafts:
  • - Wallets that are perpetually empty
  • - Rejection letter cozy
  • - Pencils refurbished from other pencils angrily snapped in half
  • - Typewriter ribbon lanyards
  • - Erasers rendered from the boiled fat of book critics
  • - Writers’ block whittling
  • Writer vs. Editor Tug-of-Wars
  • Canoeing
  • Writing, Revising, Rewriting, "Punching Up," and Redrafting Letters Home
  • Bird by Bird Watching
     

 

 

 

 

Download the full brochure here!

Stay tuned next Wednesday to get your daily schedule and map of camp grounds! 

 

*CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA is a weekly 8-part series where Quirk Books staffers reimagine famous authors as pre-teens, stuck together at summer camp. It is also an entirely fictional place. Please don't have your parents drop you off at our offices with sleeping bags. 

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/welcome-camp-plot-wanna

On Count Dooku - A William Shakespeare's Star Wars Sonnet

William Shakespeare's Alack! Of the Clones: Star Wars Part the Second - Ian Doescher

Episode II in the William Shakespeare's Star Wars series, The Clone Army Attacketh, goes on sale on July 7th! To celebrate, author Ian Doescher will be releasing exclusive sonnets each week, dedicated to the new characters you'll encounter in this latest tale set in a clash-strewn galaxy far, far away.

Come swiftly, readers: ye shall soon behold
How evil is the dark side of the Force.
Recruiting now a second Sith, so bold,
Intent upon a cunning, wicked course.
Such is the villainy of Sidious
That he would take a former Jedi Knight,
O’ercoming him with words perfidious,
Perverting him and turning him from right.
Here, then: Count Dooku, second of the Sith,
E’en now as Darth Tyranus he is nam’d.
Read on, and see how he doth plot forthwith:
Lo, for th’Republic's fall he may be blam’d.
Ears, listen: ye shall meet this villain base,
Eyes, watch: ye shall behold his wretched face.

 

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/blog

The 10 Best Literary Songs for a Bookish Dance Party



Long has the world believed that the kids at the rock shows could never be the same ones devouring books in their free time. Of course, "the world" is wrong about a lot of stuff, but they definitely missed the mark when it comes to smarts and songs. We've collected ten great pop and rock classics for your partying pleasure. Rock on and read on!

read more »
Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/10-best-literary-songs-bookish-dance-party

Pop Sonnets Summer Jams: LFO's Summer Girls

Pop Sonnets: Shakespearean Spins on Your Favorite Songs - Erik Didriksen

For the next few weeks, Pop Sonnets author Erik Didriksen will debut a weekly Shakespearean sonnet inspired by a classic summer jam. To kick the series off, we're taking it back to the '90s, when "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits..." 

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/pop-sonnets-summer-jams-lfos-summer-girls

"Hark! With this tale, encounter Jango Fett"

 

Episode II in the William Shakespeare's Star Wars series, The Clone Army Attacketh, goes on sale on July 7th! To celebrate, author Ian Doescher will be releasing exclusive sonnets each week, dedicated to the new characters you'll encounter in this latest tale set in a clash-strewn galaxy far, far away. Click the link to read the sonnet!

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/exclusive-william-shakespeares-star-wars-sonnet-hark-tale-encounter-jango-fett

The 10 Best Literary Love Songs

 

 

With wedding season upon us, there’s no denying that love and love songs are in the air. So for those couples with a bookish inclination, we've pulled together some of the best lit-infused songs that are perfect for the reception, the first dance, or even just a romantic Spotify playlist. Here’s a list of love songs bookworms are sure to enjoy, with their best literary lyrics.

 

1. “The Book of Love” – Magnetic Fields

From their 1999 album, 69 Love Songs, this is one of Magnetic Fields’ most traditional and sincere love songs. That said, it still contains Stephin Merritt’s signature tongue-in-cheek lyrical style, opening with the lines,

 

“The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing”

before he goes on to croon a more romantic refrain:

“But I, I love it when you read to me
And you, you can read me anything.”

 

 

2. “Wuthering Heights” – Kate Bush  

Named for Emily Bronte’s classic novel, Bush wrote the song at age 18, capturing the turbulent and passionate relationship between Heathcliff and Cathy in her plaintive lyrics and soaring vocals:

 

“Ooh, it gets dark! It gets lonely,
On the other side from you.
I pine a lot. I find the lot
Falls through without you.
I'm coming back, love.”

 

 

3. “Hallelujah” – Leonard Cohen

One gorgeous song; many gorgeous versions to choose from. Cohen wrote and originally recorded this one in 1984, with lyrics based on biblical stories David and Bathsheba, as well as Sampson and Delilah. Ten years later, Jeff Buckley covered the song on his debut album, and many argue it is the superior version. But the last thirty years have seen versions from numerous others, including Bono, Rufus Wainwright, Regina Spektor, Neil Diamond, and Bob Dylan.

 

 

 

 

4. “Now My Heart is Full” – Morrissey

You shouldn’t expect a straight up love song from good ol’ Moz, and that’s not exactly what he delivers with “Now My Heart is Full” whose chorus name checks gangsters in Graham Greene’s novel Brighton Rock: Dallow, Spicer, Pinkie, and Cubitt. Regardless, the song’s main refrain is sincere, heartfelt, and unapologetic:

 

“Now my heart is full
Now my heart is full
And I just can't explain
So I won't even try to”

 

5. “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” – Neutral Milk Hotel

Perhaps you think a song inspired by reading Anne Frank’s diary doesn’t belong on this list, but I’ve actually been to a wedding where this played during the first dance. It’s easy to see why when you consider the catchy melody and Jeff Magnum’s lovely lyrics:

 

“What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen”

 

 

 

6. “Love Song for a Vampire” – Annie Lennox

Inspired by Bram Stoker’s Dracula, this song also graces the soundtrack to Francis Ford Coppola’s film adaptation of the classic novel. It’s just the thing for a wedding where the bride will be wearing a black dress (for the record, I’ve been to one of those, too). The lyrics speak of a love greater than death, as Lennox croons:

 

“For there is in all the world no greater love than mine.”

 

 

7. “Tender” – Blur

This Brit-pop ballad gets its opening line from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Tender is The Night, a title that was in turn a quotation from Keats' “Ode to a Nightingale.” So you get a literary reference within a reference:

 

“Tender is the night
Lying by your side
Tender is the touch
Of someone that you love too much”

 

 

8. “The Ground Beneath Her Feet” – U2

This song was inspired by and named after Salman Rushdie’s novel of the same name. The book loosely retells the Orpheus and Euridice myth set against an alternate history of rock ‘n’ roll, so once again, the result a layered literary homage. In fact, the song credits Rushdie as its writer, because its lyrics were taken directly from his text. A sample:

“Let me love you true, let me rescue you
Let me lead you to where two roads meet”

 

9. “Book of Days” – Enya

Yeah, so maybe it’s not cool to like Enya. But you know what? This is a beautiful song, so let’s all stop being too cool for school and bask in its dreaminess. And the lyrics, which speak of a journey, provide a perfect metaphor for marriage:

 

“Find a new world across a wide ocean
This way became my journey
This day brings together
Far and Away”

 

 

10. “If You Find Yourself Caught in Love” - Belle & Sebastian

This band takes their name from a popular French novel about a boy and his dog living in a mountain village in the French Alps. The song is a bit more upbeat than what a newlywed couple’s might select for their first dance. Nevertheless, it’s a fine choice if you’re a fan of this twee Scottish indie-pop band, with a sweet opening refrain:

 

“If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
Thank him for everything you know
You should thank him for every breath you blow”  

 

We've collected all these literary ballads into a youtube playlist for your listening pleasure. Let us know which one is your favorite literary love song at @QuirkBooks on Twitter! 

 

The Magical Art of Moving With Too Many Books

 

As someone who has just had to move twice in as many months, I can tell you right now that I'm intimately acquainted with the struggle of moving books. Nothing is worse than having to reconfigure your book collection to a new layout or a place that can't accomodate as many bookshelves (quel horreur!). I used to be the kind of person who thought there was no such a thing as too many books, but my back and sanity disagree. Next time you want to move your massive book collection to a new place, here are some tips to keep you sane.

read more »
Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/magical-art-moving-too-many-books

5 Dino-Themed Books to Add to Your Summer Reading List

 

Long after the dinosaurs toppled from the top of the food chain and into extinction, they continue to dominate pop culture. From books to movies to television shows, they range from the really good (Jurassic Park) to the really bad (Jurassic Park III) to the utterly ridiculous (Tammy and the T-Rex). But no matter how bad or ridiculous, they always draw an audience. If you know you'll leave the theater after Jurassic World is over and still want more dinosaurs, you’ll want to add these five books to your summer reading list.

read more »
Manhattan Mayhem: New Crime Stories from The Mystery Writers of America - Mary Higgins Clark

We know a doomed character when we read one. Of course, we would never be dense enough to go down that dark alley alone looking for clues, or decide to take a shower right after being chased through an old hotel. But is surviving a muder mystery really that easy? Inspired by the new anthology, Manhattan Mayhem, edited by Mary Higgins Clark, here's a flowchart to test your sluething metal and measure your chance of survival in a gritty murder mystery. 

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/how-tell-if-youre-about-be-murdered-mystery-flowchart

Tips for Reading in Restaurants Without Being Weird, Awkward, Or Getting Ketchup On Your Book


Book Sandwich! via pebrenegre

 

I support your right to get your book* on anywhere and everywhere. And what better place to read than on a bookish dinner date with yourself? You deserve it. Now before you dress yourself up—or down, whatever your style—and grab your book, here are some helpful tips for a perfect restaurant book date.

 

*I will be using book to represent e-readers, comics, any and all reading material. We're equal opportunity readers/eaters here!

 


Pitch Perfect

 

First off: you’re neither weird nor awkward.
Okay, I don’t know you, so maybe you are, but don't fret—you’re neither of those things just because you want to eat dinner with a book. Trust me, everyone around you has their nose in their smartphone even while people are talking to them. You’re awesome. And your book is awesome.

 

You are what you eat.
Or more importantly your book might wear whatever you eat. Which means that chili-dog place isn’t the best choice for tonight. I mean, yes, your book would look adorable in a bib but I’m here to keep you and your date clean. Best food choices are non-messy, non-drippy and don’t require both hands to eat. Oh, and the squirts-out-the-other-end (looking at you poorly wrapped burrito) probably best to leave for another night or only eat it with a fork and knife.

 


Frasier

 

Baby wipes aren’t just for babies.
You don’t want to get home, relaxed and stuffed, to discover a mysterious stain or gooey spot on your book. This especially applies if you choose books because of their covers and regularly stand in front of your bookshelves admiring the beauty of your books. Before you sit pull a Niles Crane and wipe, wipe, wipe! And then smile and be really nice to your servers so they don’t think you were insulting their cleaning abilities.

 


original image via Himalayan Happenings

 

It’s all about the placement.
You want your plate of food between you and your book. This way, while the airplane spoon is en route to your mouth, you don’t have to worry about any of it plopping in the center of your book. Our goal is to not hear splat! Also, depending on the size of the table, you can have your book on the side of the plate opposite the hand you eat with. Yes, singular. We are only using one hand for eating on this date.

 

Hand designation.
If you’re not planning on eating it, don’t get ketchup on it. This is why each hand gets assigned a job and swapping is not allowed! Sorry to sound like the hand-police, but it’s important to choose one hand for page turning and one hand for getting dinner from the plate to your mouth to avoid getting food, smears, and grease on your book.

 


via Woman’s Health Magazine

 

Can I have a straw?
It’s best to keep your glass on the table and slurp your drink through a straw. If not every time you pick up the glass, bring it to your lips, then place it back down you will risk that accidental bump, slip, and potential table flood.

 


via The eBook reader

 

Protection.
Easiest way to keep your e-reader clean is to have it inside any of the many options for keeping it safe. I personally use the waterproof Ziploc-bag-looking ones in the pool, which means a spilled glass of wine won’t be short-circuiting my reader. Yes, people will stare if you lick spilled wine off your case.

 


Matilda

 

Read funny at your own risk.
Laughing with a mouth full of food could result in food spraying (gross) and/or choking (total book date ruiner), and/or being stared at (apparently people stare when you’re laughing hysterically and sitting alone). Now, if you want to make friends, ignore my strangers-staring warning and get your laugh on—people will ask what’s so funny and it’ll turn into a conversation where you recommend the current hilarious book you’re reading. This is how book clubs and the best friendships start, right?

 


Now I can see you’re getting hangry and holding that fork like a weapon because you want to get your food order in to get to the best part, eating and reading, so I’ll leave you to enjoy. Book appétit!

LET'S SMUGGLE IN SOME BOOKS FOR THE LADIES OF OITNB

Reblogged from Quirk Books:

Prison’s hard, yo! Just ask the ladies of Orange is the New Black who deal with kitchen wars, psycho guards, religious extremism, baby-mama drama, love feuds, back stabbing, manipulation, the SHU… 

 

Okay, so yes, they’re in prison for a reason and it’s supposed to be punishment but I think the prison library can do with some new books to keep these ladies sane—and teach a few of them a thing or two. So let’s smuggle in some books!—

(Er… Dear NSA, what I meant was I’m going to legally donate to the OITNB prison library for season 3, premiering this Friday.)

 

Dear Chapman, 
Here's The Life and Death of Sophie Stark because it’s a great book you'll enjoy. Also, maybe it’ll make you wonder how those closest to you would remember you and lead to your ah-ha moment:  You aren't actually a victim.

 

Dear Nicky, 
Enjoy Come As You Are and then please leave it on Healey’s desk.   

 

Dear Poussey, 
Here’s hoping that with Red’s new garden and Hooch you can make some tastier treats.

 

Dear Alex,
Thought you might like Unbecoming—no, not selected just because of the title. 
P.S. You’re not the only one who will like it so feel free to share with you-know-who because we all know you will.

 

Dear Red,  
Read Why Did the Chicken Cross the World? while you wait to catch and cook your chicken.

 

Dear Daya, 
Yes, Adventures in Cartooning is aimed at a young audience but you gotta start somewhere, so don’t give me that face. 
P.S. We look forward to one day reading your graphic novel.

 

Dear Sophia, 
Here's Life’s A Drag! Paper Dolls while you wait for the release of Laverne Cox’s memoir.

 

Dear Yoga Jones, 
While you won’t be making any of the recipes you can still find inspiration in the beautiful photos and insights in Yoga Girl
P.S. Don’t pull anything.

 

Dear Miss Rosa, 
Drive because we don’t like rudeness either.  

 

Dear Suzanne, 
Thought you might like The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl
*Crazy Eyes looks up.  “You calling me awkward?”
*Taystee yanks the book from her.  “Ooh, I’ll read it."

 

Dear Vee, 
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest for so many reasons.

 

Dear Morello, 
We love you, girl—but, um… you need to read He’s Just Not That Into You until it sinks in. Deeply sinks in.

 

Dear Pennsatucky, 
Maybe you’ll find your way if you spend more time with your mouth zipped and your eyes reading:Are You There God? It’s me, Margaret.; Not My Father’s Son; Little Women; What I Know For Sure.

 

Now don’t forget to share, ladies!

 

 

LET'S SMUGGLE IN SOME BOOKS FOR THE LADIES OF OITNB

Prison’s hard, yo! Just ask the ladies of Orange is the New Black who deal with kitchen wars, psycho guards, religious extremism, baby-mama drama, love feuds, back stabbing, manipulation, the SHU… 

 

Okay, so yes, they’re in prison for a reason and it’s supposed to be punishment but I think the prison library can do with some new books to keep these ladies sane—and teach a few of them a thing or two. So let’s smuggle in some books!—

(Er… Dear NSA, what I meant was I’m going to legally donate to the OITNB prison library for season 3, premiering this Friday.)

 

Dear Chapman, 
Here's The Life and Death of Sophie Stark because it’s a great book you'll enjoy. Also, maybe it’ll make you wonder how those closest to you would remember you and lead to your ah-ha moment:  You aren't actually a victim.

 

Dear Nicky, 
Enjoy Come As You Are and then please leave it on Healey’s desk.   

 

Dear Poussey, 
Here’s hoping that with Red’s new garden and Hooch you can make some tastier treats.

 

Dear Alex,
Thought you might like Unbecoming—no, not selected just because of the title. 
P.S. You’re not the only one who will like it so feel free to share with you-know-who because we all know you will.

 

Dear Red,  
Read Why Did the Chicken Cross the World? while you wait to catch and cook your chicken.

 

Dear Daya, 
Yes, Adventures in Cartooning is aimed at a young audience but you gotta start somewhere, so don’t give me that face. 
P.S. We look forward to one day reading your graphic novel.

 

Dear Sophia, 
Here's Life’s A Drag! Paper Dolls while you wait for the release of Laverne Cox’s memoir.

 

Dear Yoga Jones, 
While you won’t be making any of the recipes you can still find inspiration in the beautiful photos and insights in Yoga Girl
P.S. Don’t pull anything.

 

Dear Miss Rosa, 
Drive because we don’t like rudeness either.  

 

Dear Suzanne, 
Thought you might like The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl
*Crazy Eyes looks up.  “You calling me awkward?”
*Taystee yanks the book from her.  “Ooh, I’ll read it."

 

Dear Vee, 
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest for so many reasons.

 

Dear Morello, 
We love you, girl—but, um… you need to read He’s Just Not That Into You until it sinks in. Deeply sinks in.

 

Dear Pennsatucky, 
Maybe you’ll find your way if you spend more time with your mouth zipped and your eyes reading:Are You There God? It’s me, Margaret.; Not My Father’s Son; Little Women; What I Know For Sure.

 

Now don’t forget to share, ladies!

 

 

HANNIBAL LECTER VS. FICTION'S GREATEST GUMSHOES

Ah, Hannibal Lecter. No other fictional murderer has captured the collective unconsciousness quite like Thomas Harris’s culinarily-inclined mastermind. What is it about sleek, erudite monster that makes him so indelible? Four novels, five films and a television show might have destroyed another character, or at the least made him over-exposed. Only classic nightmare fodder such as Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster seem to exist in that same rarified air as Hannibal, where repeated use does nothing to fade their own personal brand of darkness.

 

Part of Hannibal’s continued appeal must lie with the way Harris has chosen Hannibal’s antagonists. The women and men who go up against Hannibal Lechter are all formidable minds in their own right, and so Hannibal’s victories (and defeats) against them are always well-earned.

 

So how might Hannibal fare against some of the greatest detectives in literary history?

 

Sherlock Holmes

It’s not so much the clues that make Sherlock Holmes curious about the dapper alienist Dr. Lecter, but their absence. The tell-tale cloud of detritus that surrounds us all as consequence of living was absent from Lecter, as if the man scrubbed himself clean every hour. “Or perhaps,” Watson joked, “he isn’t even there at all.” Despite no evidence of wrong-doing, Holmes can’t let the matter go, and becomes obsessed with the man, teasing out the smallest of pieces to Lecter’s true identity. Lecter gleans what Holmes is up to, and in a bout of hubris, invites the detective to his massive estate for dinner. Holmes needs only a sniff to know that succulently-roasted pork loin isn’t pork at all, and everything falls into place.

 

Key Line: "I speak only of your inevitable destruction,” said Lecter. “You’re clever, Mr. Holmes. But you stand in the way of an individual, whose skill you, with all your cleverness, have been unable to realize. You must stand clear, or be trodden underfoot."

 

Who Survives: Holmes, but just barely. Hannibal almost succeeds in killing Sherlock before he takes a bullet from Watson’s service revolver.

Poirot

Hercule Poirot runs into Dr. Lecter when investigating a particularly gruesome series of murders that have taken place in an English resort village. They admire each other’s suits and accessories, and Lecter assists handily in investigation, speaking to Poirot entirely in French. Hastings takes an immediate dislike to Lecter—“I can’t explain it, and I’m not going to. I simply don’t like the chap.”—which Poirot chalks up to general English distrust of foreigners.

It is not until after Poirot and Lecter are celebrating the case being solved and the murderer confessed that Poirot gives Lecter a deeper look. Poirot realizes that the murderer was a protégé of Lecter and he is currently dining on human flesh at approximately the same moment. Poirot, ever the gentleman, confesses that he’s lost his appetite, and hurriedly informs the authorities.

 

Key Lines: “You know, every wine, even a small wine, has its own personality with its own secret past and its own promises of pleasure in the future. And so those of us who have been witnesses of death as we have - for them, this is a manifestation of life.”

“Not just wine, Poirot...”

 

Who Survives: Hannibal considers killing Poirot, but cannot bring himself to destroy such an impressive mind. He flees instead, and Inspector Japp brings the assembled police to an empty house.

 

Spenser

Spenser isn’t even LOOKING into anything near the murders Hannibal commits. He’s following a kidnapped girl, because people pay him to solve kidnappings, not murders. But when he finds the kidnapped girl unharmed and her obstenible kidnapper hung by his own intestines from the rafters, Spenser is surprised to find he’s still capable of surprise. He gets paid for returning the girl, but the murder weighs on him more than it should. Susan, ever the psychologist, sees this and arranges a meeting with an old colleague. Dr. Lecter does this sort of work with FBI, and wouldn’t it be nice to have him over for dinner?

 

Key Lines: “Susan said you’re a whiz in the kitchen. You have any suggestions, make them. I'm in charge but humble.”

Lecter said, "Mind if I snicker every once in a while behind your back?"

"Hell, no," I said. "Everyone else does.”

 

Who Survives: Clever as he is, Spenser is far too much of the type that Hannibal dines on regularly, so there’s no way he walks away from the encounter. Where Hannibal trips up is that he tries to go after Hawk. And you can’t kill Hawk.

Nick & Nora Charles

Nick and Nora travel to the East Coast to barely put up with another member of Nora’s illustrious family, the highlight of which is an extravagant dinner party put on by the toast of Baltimore society, Hannibal Lecter. While Lecter’s initial stinginess with the booze tries Nick and Nora’s patience, eventually the liquor is loosed and good time is had by all. It’s not until an old friend of Nick’s from his detective days asks for help with a particularly grisly series of murders that a pallor starts to fall over the visit. Nick realizes the similarity to the missing organs in the murder victims and the menu items he and Nora devoured at the party. Looks like it’s one more trip back to the Lecter estate—better have a stiff drink before they go. Well, maybe one more....

 

Key lines: “How about a drop of something before we get started?”

“I am afraid the amuse-bouche must be enjoyed sober to be properly appreciated.”

“With all due respect to your first course, Dr. Lecter,” I said. “We didn't come to Baltimore to stay sober.”

 

Who Survives:  Lecter gives a good fight, seriously wounding Nick. But he doesn’t account for Asta, and the small Schauzer distracts Hannibal long enough for Nora to take him out for good.  Nick and Nora resolve never to visit Baltimore again.

 

Kinsey Millhone

When one of the California Fidelity insurance employees turns up dead with his lungs missing, Kinsey Millhone is on the case. Nevermind that the local police and the FBI (who thinks the MO is strikingly close to the Chesapeake Ripper on the East Coast) are already investigating—Kinsey’s not going to turn down a chance at rent-free office space just because there’s other detectives. But having more eyes doesn’t mean they can see anything: it’s Kinsey who turns up more murders that the police and the FBI have overlooked. And it’s Kinsey who figures out the connection between the California Fidelity employee’s cold call to visiting psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter and his unfortunate demise.

 

Key Lines: “I don't take death-and-dismemberment talk very seriously. Where could you rent a chainsaw at this time of night?”

“Chainsaws are at best, imprecise, Miss Millhone.”

 

Who Survives: Like so many Alphabet Series antagonists, Hannibal underestimates Kinsey as a threat, and never realizes the woman in the turtleneck sweater who trims her hair with toenail clippings is the one who delivered him right into the waiting hands of the FBI.

 

Encyclopedia Brown

Chief Brown can’t tell every difficult case at the dinner table. For those cases that are too disturbing to tell his wife and 10-year-old son, he bends the ear of another. Dr. Hannibal Lecter has given invaluable help over the phone, and it is not long before the conversations between the police chief and the psychiatrist take a personal turn. Hannibal is impressed that Brown’s son Leroy has started his own detective agency, and wastes no time coming to their home in Florida to meet the boy in person.  Impressed by Encyclopedia Brown’s observation skills, Hannibal takes the kid under his wing. Hannibal ends teaching Encyclopedia more about human nature than the boy every dreamed.

 

Key Lines: “No one, grown-up or child, gets away with breaking the law in Idaville.”

“What a charming idea,” said Hannibal. “But you’re far too smart a boy to truly believe that, aren’t you?”

 

Who Survives: No one. We’re all dead if Hannibal raises Encyclopedia Brown.

 

How would your favorite fictional detective stack up against Hannibal Lecter?

Source: http://www.quirkbooks.com/post/hannibal-lecter-vs-fictions-greatest-gumshoes