Quirk Books

Ways To Ask Someone to Be Your Bookish Valentine

“Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort.” 
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

Valentine’s Day may be the most bookish of holidays. Think about it. What other holiday encourages people memorize Byron, compare each other to a summer’s day, or sweat over the syntax of a note scrawled on a Pokemon themed card pack from CVS? (Who wouldn’t want to spend the Eevee-ning with you?)

February 14th gained its modern day romantic roots from the Father of English Literature during the High Middle Ages. Geoffrey Chaucer didn't only tell bawdy tales and write poetry about mating birds, but also encouraged a bit of courtly love that evolved into the flowers, chocolates, and little notes we're all familiar with today.

So, if the above quote is to be believed, where better to gain knowledge and bond with someone special than over a book? Stories not only help us discover ourselves, but learn a little about each other. Who hasn’t evaluated a potential love interest based on a furtive glance at their bookshelf? 

In honor of its literary roots, here are some ways to ask that special someone to be your bookish Valentine. 

Slip a note into the book they’re reading

Simple but effective. Be sly. Ask to see the book that they’re reading and use some sleight of hand to slip in a little note with check boxes for “yes,” “no,” or “maybe.” If you’re in a pinch, place the note into your own book, feign illiteracy, and ask them to read a passage you’re “struggling” with. 

If you really want to be smooth, make copies of your note and put them in all of your books. Then ask your potential Valentine to pick one, any one. It’s like a magic trick that never fails to amaze. 

Carve out an old book to hold chocolates

How dare ye desecrate a sacred tome?! All is fair in love and homemade V-day gifts.

Hollow out those pages in the name of romance and confectionery delights. Combined with the previous suggestion, your special someone can start collecting the whole romantic series.

Note on the photo: Don’t be a jerk and use a library book.

Make a dozen paper roses from pages of their favorite novel

A bit of personal handiwork never goes unappreciated on Valentine’s Day. Download a pattern from the internet, quick draw that glue gun from its holster, and get crafting. 

Again, you have my permission to desecrate a book in the name of love. Just, don’t destroy THEIR copy.

Track down their favorite author and ask them to sign a book with a special V-Day message

This one takes a bit of long-term planning and a whole lot of luck, but if it works, you have a bona-fide Valentine’s Day miracle sure to get you a peck on the cheek. Just make sure the note the author leaves doesn’t sound like THEY’RE asking out your prospective Valentine’s Day companion. Things might get a bit awkward.

Are they a fan of detective novels? Give them a series of clues to find their way to their femme/homme fatale

Just, take it easy on the red herrings. An easy riddle to lead them to the location of their secret admirer works wonder. Maybe circle words on a page to get your riddle across. Avoid the whole letters-cut-from-a-magazine approach since it might send the wrong sort of message.

K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid) so they can solve the mystery and reward you with a real smooch.

Dress like a character from their favorite romance novel cover and serenade them at their window (e.g., Fabio singing Mmmmm Bop)

For this you’re going to need:

1. A low cut shirt (this applies to both men and women)

2. High velocity fan

3. Long hair or a wig to flow in the wind created by aforementioned fan

4. Musical instrument/boombox

5. An ocean of confidence and no shame whatsoever It’s also imperative you pick the right song. If they don’t like it, you may end up like Fabio and get hit in the face with a high velocity goose.

A long coat and ghetto blaster are your last resort. Castle backdrop is optional.

With a little courage, knowledge, and effort, you’ll tumble into that romantic ravine with your Valentine whispering “As you wish.”

If they say “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya; you killed my father; prepare to die,” no amount of paper roses and dewey decimal sorted chocolates is going to save you.